Haunting Humans
by oddest-one-out
Summary: "Dear diary, I mean journal... it seems like nearly everybody else is still bent on visiting the idiotic sounding "haunted house" that's even more than a whole freaking hour and a half away. I guess I still have no choice but to go. Urk I just hope we don't get lost in the middle of mother grubbing nowhere again. Anyways I guess I'll just write in here again later" -K


Haunting Humans

By: oddest-one-out

Chapter 1

**Summary: "Dear diary, I mean journal... it seems like nearly everybody else is still bent on visiting the idiotic sounding "haunted house" that's even more than a whole freaking hour and a half away. I guess I still have no choice but to go. Urk I just hope we don't get lost in the middle of mother grubbing nowhere again. Anyways I guess I'll just write in here again later, hopefully by then all of the lazy-asses will have gotten their things packed. -K**

_ Writers Note: Hi there to all of you readers out there (*^__^*)__ﾉ__so this is my first homestuck fanfiction! :D (first fanfiction on this account also) i dunno how long it'll be, i guess that's up to if you guys like it or not! Okay so basically its set in a haunted house and it's all in karkat's pov diarys, and you can just ignore that the trolls aren't human or ignore that the humans are human or just imagine whatever, because basically its just the characters all in a haunted house on earth, so imagine it human-stuck or normal or whatever you want! ^^ (i was really into hetaoni so the whole haunted house thing is kinda like that i guess expect for no purple monsters named steve or anything like that and there will be character death so just a warning) anyways I hope you like it, please tell if you do or i wont know if people want more chapters or not so comment all you like! Have a nice day and enjoy~_

**26 July, 2014**- Dear diary, it seems like I'm supposed to write in you to let out some of my anger. Of course it was Terezi's idea, like this will fucking help anything! Well pushing that matter aside, apparently John thought it would be a great idea for all of us to go on some sort of "fun" trip for the summer. And trust me the last trip was NOT fun. "FUN" is not having to deal with whining and complaining and shit from every single person that you come in contact with and getting split up and lost at some amusement park. GOG that was TERRIBLE! Although for this year he thought it'd be more fun to try something more "sedentary" and visit some random house in the woods like two hours away that is apparently haunted. Hah, I almost feel bad for the poor suckers that actually believe in that crap. No people, the only life-like things that exist are us and other _living_ things like cats. So basically us and cats. CATS CAN'T HAUNT PEOPLE GUYS IF YOU ACTUALLY HAD HALF A MIND YOU'D KNOW THAT! Gog, people are so weird. Anyways so I guess that's where we are all being dragged this year, urgg just the thought of how terrible this is probably going to turn out makes my stomach churn. Although writing in this isn't so bad I guess... maybe TZ was right... like i'll ever admit that though. But I guess I'll write in this again tomorrow... -K

**27 July, 2014**- Dear diary, apparently you are a journal. I actually mustered up my self-esteem and thanked TZ for the diary yesterday and she LAUGHED at me. SHE FUCKING LAUGHED (!?) As to why she laughed, because apparently this thing has a different name if a male owns it than a female WHICH MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL WHAT THE HELL! So that was a really weird argument over whether things should be named differently if they are designed for a male or female.. (IM STILL RIGHT) but John has his heart set on leaving for the "haunted" house tomorrow. Actually surprisingly a lot more people are wanting to go then I would have thought. Even the sweaty blue one is excited for it? I have no idea what seems so fun about staying at an old creaking house filled with spider webs and rat shit, but I guess it's too late to try and change their minds now. -K

**28 July, 2014**- Dear diary, I mean journal... it seems like nearly everybody else is still bent on visiting the idiotic sounding "haunted" house that's even more than a whole freaking hour and a half away. I guess I still have no choice but to go. Urk I just hope we don't get lost in the middle of mother grubbing nowhere again. Anyways I guess I'll just write in here again later, hopefully by then all of the lazy-asses will have gotten their things packed. -K

**29 July, 2014**- D_Dear dairy, itss 2am _nd im n the c_r and gamze is drving like a_aaa man_ac i t_ink hee f_cking hiigh ag_in _-K

**29 July,2014**- Dear diary, i'm sorry that message was so fucked up because Gamzee's driving SUCKS! GOG WHO THE HELL LET THE DRUGGIE DRIVE?! Augh oh well, at least we finally stopped, we made it to the old house and it's not actually as bad as I would have thought. Well actually no it is still fucking terrible being here, but I mean that there aren't cobwebs in every doorway and I haven't stepped in one pile of animal shit since we got here. Aradia LOVES the place, says she feels right at home and Gam says he wants the place as his own hive... we've really got some weird people in the group. Oh and in the kitchen... okay well there was something really disturbing and some things happened and the dickwad also known as Dave thought it would be funny to mess with me. It's...urgg.. OK WEll THERE WAS THIS RUSTY BUCKET IN THE FUCKING CLOSET AND DAVE THOUGHT HE WAS SO FUNNY AND PICKED it RIGHT UP AND THREW IT AT ME LIKE IT WAS NO FUCKING BIG DEAL! I SWEAR I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN NOW I AM PROBABLY INFESTED WITH PARASITES OF ALL BUCKET KINDS JUST ICK ICKKKKKKK! ITS TOO GROSS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW JUST FUUCKKKKKKKKK -K

**29-July, 2014. 7:43 pm**- Dear Diary, fuck calling you a journal, you're a diary. Okay I'm going to start writing the times of the day now so that I can write multiple times a day. I've gotta say this has to be the best thing that I've ever gotten from TZ, hell maybe I'll end up naming this thing later! After I re-sanatize myself of course, I'm still freaked out by what Dave did earlier, the douche. HAHAHA Dave the douche, that's a good one. I'll have to call him that later. Anyways, so updates on the house.

1: It has gotten creepier.

2: It's really creepy but still fake I bet.

3: I think other people might be here too.

4: _I have to sleep in the same room as Dave and Gamzee_.

And man does that mean I am FUCKED. I think everybody's noticed this by now, but Gam HATES Dave. Gog i'm going to have to sleep in the middle so that he doesn't get up in the middle of the night and stab him. Dave can be a dick, but that doesn't mean I want to see him die. So ya, I hope I end up sleeping at least SOME tonight if that's even possible (I doubt it will be) but after looking around the house, it really is starting to seem a bit creepier. Although there aren't cobwebs and skeletons lying around, I have found some pretty weird stuff. Like in one of the rooms I found this doll with it's eyes all black, I guess they were painted or something but it was the only thing in the whole room and it was sitting by itself on a chair. Just my luck that's the room I get to sleep in tonight.

Whoever the fuck put Vriska in charge of sleeping arrangement's, i'm really pissed off at them. Oh and I think that Sollux is mad at me. I said I'd wring his neck if he dropped my stuff when he was carrying it in and he DID! So of course i'd go off on a rant while distracting him from noticing my threat was a bluff. But he was really sensitive tonight for some reason and he got all emotional. I think he's scared of the house actually, I mean he did look pretty pale and that would explain a lot. I think the place is starting to put a few people a little on the edge, but not me of course, though we've only been here a few hours and John already want's to go home! He was the one that suggested it in the first place! I really just do not get that boy. Oh and I found my crab watch and a key to some room on the third floor. Apparently there are three floors in this huge house. Really it's like a mansion, but it's just easier to call it a house I guess. Although none of us have been on the third floor or the basement yet and most of the second floor is still un-discovered except for my room, so I guess I'll go check out the stuff that we haven't seen soon. First I've GOT to take a shower though. I smell like a dying sludge worm so I guess I've also got to go find the bathroom. I think Eridan said he found it earlier so I guess I'll just go ask him. Aughhh I don't want to do this. -K

**29-July, 2014. 9:14 pm**- OKAY SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENED. So first of all I couldn't find Eridan and nobody else knew where he was, but who knows with that freak. Anyways so luckily Tavros knew where the bathroom was too so he showed me where it was so I could take my shower. Though once I got in the shower and turned it on the water that came out was BLACK. I kind of might have shrieked and stumbled out of the shower and Dave ran in while I was still naked and you know what he fucking did before even asking me if I was okay, HE LAUGHED AT THE BIRTHMARK ON MY BUTT! WHAT THE FUCK STRIDER YOU DONT EVEN GIVE ONE GRUB ABOUT IF IM OKAY OR NOT?! WHAT THE HELL? GOG I hate him so much, but after I taught him a lesson and yelled at him he finally helped me out and I told him about the weird bath water. Though he just says that's normal sometimes, it's just from the rust in the pipes or something like that, but whatever he says I still am not taking a shower in that bathroom anymore. I guess I'll just have to smell like dead fish for the rest of the week.

After that whole ordeal I went to go talk to Sol because I thought it'd be better to be on good terms with him especially when he's not doing to well. I think he's doing the worst out of all of us here, I mean he was the only one other then me and Fef who really didn't want to come here in the first place. I guess he just gets scared easily (?) though I'm not to sure.. Anyways so I went to go talk to him and he said that he wants to have something to do to take his mind off things, so he actually offered to add a feature to my crab watch that will let me do journal entries by voice! I didn't know that it was that obvious that I've been writing in this lately, but I guess he noticed anyways. But i'm actually exciting for this! My hand hurts like a million fucking suns dancing in volcanic ruins from writing so much, so this will make everything easier! A-... . . . . . okay I just heard something. I'm not too sure what it was, but I guess I'll go check it out. It kind of sounded like a whining sound.. like from the air vent or something.. i'm sure its just someone being a dickwad and trying to scare me. Anyways, next time I enter into my diary it'll probably be from my epic crab watch. Until then.- K

**29-July, 2014. 11:49 pm**- DEAR DIARY, I GOT MY ENHANCED CRAB WATCH BACK AND I THINK ITS ERIDAN WHO IS TRYING TO FUCKING MESS WITH MY HEAD. After the last diary entry I went to Sol to see if my watch was done, and it was! It was a lot faster then I expected, so I decided to go up to the second floor and explore around a little more. First of all I went into our room so I could put my written diary somewhere for the moment, and the weird-ass doll was gone but there was a note on the chair and purple blood smeared across the wall. The walls were all white so it obviously stood out although he is probably just trying to get back at everyone and give us all a good spook. As if that's going to work you fake ass. The note on the chair would have been a little spooky if I didn't know it was a joke. It said "_Throats have been cut. Not one, but more. Figure who's neck is next, or your lives will have been a bore._" ... even I think that is kind of a creepy thing for him to write even if it is a joke. I guess he must be really into it. But anyways, I picked up the note and I am speaking into my new diary at this moment. I'm going down the stairs (which are creaking really loud, I feel like I'm going to fall through the floor boards or something), and I'm going to go ask around and see if any of the others have seen Eridan so I can give him an earful. Also i'm probably gunna go check on TZ, she said she had a headache a little while ago and went to go rest so I'm gunna see if her and Sol are doing okay. Anyways, I guess I'll update in a little while then. -K

**30- July, 2014. 1:02 am**- Well it looks like no-one has any idea of where that idiot Eridan is, and apparently Kanaya and Rose are gone somewhere too.. though I can't say I'm too surprised by that. A few people have already gone to bed and earlier I went to go check up on TZ and Sol. Sollux was doing alright, better than earlier at least. He almost seemed, calmer(?) then usual. I dunno he was just kinda odd but hey I get that some people act differently to unknown places and that's fine, I just hope he doesn't suddenly end up going bat-shit insane or something. Also TZ didn't seem to be feeling any better, she actually seemed to be doing worse than before. I felt her head and she was fucking BURNING. If she doesn't end up feeling better by tomorrow maybe I'll see if I can finally get out of this shitty mansion and take her to a doctor or something since we did bring two vans. Although it might take some convincing for that, even though John keeps complaining about being scared and wanting to go home, he also wants us to stay here. WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU WANT YOU GRUB SLUGGING INDECISIVE HUMAN MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND. UGH that boy drives me up a fucking wall.

Oh and I guess I haven't gone over our room assignments have I. Well as I said before, Dave, Gam and I are all staying in the creepy-ass room on the second floor-

"I think you mean just me and you are stayin' in that creepy-ass mother-fuckin room on the second floor, brother"

That was Gamzee, he's walking behind me right now because we are going into the kitchen for a snack. NOT that I'm scared to walk to the kitchen by myself at night or anything, it's just that it's good to have someone to talk to, right Gam?

"You got that shit right"

See, I'm always right. Anyways, sorry Gam but you know there is no way around rooming with Dave too. He's with us whether you like it or not, and sorry but that means you'll just have to fucking deal with him until we find a way to get out of this place before John ends up making us all live here. Just, ignore him or something. Trust me it won't be that bad. Ah, though as I was saying, we are the only ones staying on the second floor. On the first floor there are 9 different rooms, 4 of them bedrooms. In the smallest bedroom on the left Rose, Kanaya, Vriska and Terezi are staying. Across from that is a normal size room that Equius, Tavros, Sol and (if we knew where he was) Eridan are sleeping in. A little down the hallway on the same is a larger sized room, in there Aradia, Fef, Nepeta, Jade, and for some reason John are staying. I have no fucking idea why John is staying with most of the girls, but I guess they do get along pretty well or something. I guess it doesn't make much of a difference though, I mean that kid is such a softie there is no way he'd lay a hand on any of them, especially when his sister is right there. Our creepy-ass room on the second floor is too small for more than three anyways.

AH THANK GOG. I FOUND THE JAM. Sorry about that, I was looking for something to put in a bread sandwich and here I found some grape jam. Man this stuff is the best, hey Gam do you want a-... . . Gam? Why the fuck are you making that weird face? Is there something wrong? Ah gog maybe you've got the fucking same sick thing as TZ. Uhg before we know it the whole lot of us will end up sick and not be able to leave this shit-house. A-

"Karkat."

W-what is it... do you need something? I think we've got medicine and stuff if you're really not feeling well..

". . . ."

. . . .. What the hell Gamzee, is something up? You can tell me you know..

". . ... It's nothing... I just wanted some of that delicious purple jam.."

Oh.. okay, well here then..

" . . . thanks my mother-fucking best brother. I'll be seeing you later then"

Ah, wait Gam!... He's gone.. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT YOU TOOK ALL THE FUCKING JAM YOU INSUFFERABLE FUCKPUPPET! URGH NOW ALL I'VE GOT IS FUCKING BREAD. RGHHHH! Well this is just fucking great, what the fuck am I supposed to eat now. He's going to get an earful from me once I get back to the room you'd better fucking believe it. -K

_Writers Note: Hey you made it to the end w/out dying! Yayyy! I hope you liked the first chapter of my new ff ^^ please tell me if you like it or if you have any suggestions! Thanks~_


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